enjoy your meal.
Wednesday, 23 March 2011, 06:58
WOOTSS!! new blog :D!! like the url?? i m starting to embrace my nickname tht has been stuck with me for 6 yrs!! I think it was Sheryl tay Qi feng who started calling me tht... omg.. i cn't believe i remb her full name :D suddenly remembering her made me realize tht the only pri schl friend i still keep in contact with is my dear Hazel. Rena is not counted since i wasn't close to her from the start. Even though sheryl lives a few blocks away from me, i haven't seen her for 4 yrs!! damn i miss my pri schl yrs... and i look sooo diff from my pri schl days and now. ppl who have seen my pri schl photos will know, ppl who didn't thn TOO BAD! its up to ur imagination to guess what i look like when i was a small kid. HAH!!Another thing. I wonder if ppl ever refer to themselves as two different ppl?? there are times when i am alone, i feel that the way i act to other ppl is not who i am. i dunno whether its true or not but its a feeling. like how my thoughts differ so much when i am alone and with someone. maybe its because when i am alone, i am not afraid to think about anything and say what eva i want. but when i am with someone, the words that comes out of my mouth always makes it sound nicer to the other persons ears yet it feels really weird to my ears. people say that i am an amazing person, why do i fail to see it? why of all people do i not see it? i dun think bad of myself, i just dun see any good. it more like neutral, like a blank piece of paper. people see something good written. yet i don't see it. i don't see anything bad written on it. so its just blank. i see nothing good or bad, just blank. maybe i am just to self conscious?? hmmm... but seriously, its not the first time. i tell myself dunno how many monkey times tht i am what i am. but the thing is, what is that?? what is the me tht ppl see and what is the me i see?? damn bloody confusing...
every time i say something from me, i stop. think, and say something to make everything better. of course ppl know who i am. i am anna chua. but the thing is i dunno who is anna chua. i dunno whether u all get it. even i dun get what i am saying. i dun see traits, i dun see faults. other ppl do, but why can't i? i always wonder what people think about me, i wan to see what those eyes tells me. but for some reason i rarely get told who i am in their eyes. and when they do, i am not satisfied. i have this feeling like they're lying to me. but this doesn't apply to all, only some. the some who are afraid to say what they really see and say things to make the person happy.(like me i guess) zzzz.... now maybe thts why i am straight forward... i wan ppl to say the first ans tht pops into their head, so thts why i aso do tht... but i do stop and think about the things i said... since my straight forwardness got me into trouble a couple of times and i have been told by my mom to shut up and think. thn say. but i didn't know tht to shut up and think will make me think like someone else... well at least i found something to speak my mind. as in really speak my mindddd.... but but... ARGHHHH FCK the buts!! i am gonna right what i like and if tht pisses u off fine.. thn dun read lor! simple as tht :D! its been such a long time since i was able to right wth i want without feeling freaking emotional. even tho ppl have no idea what the hell i am writing...
anw. new blog. new chapter. will try to blog as much as possible. and aso !WARNING! My post are very confusing. i wun post about one topic in one post, i will jump here and there. i would post things that just pop out of my head from now on. that is how i roll.... if not then where the hell do you expect me to put this pop ups from my head?!?! in the real world?? now thts just going to mean i am the most annoying person on earth and won't shut up right?? no? wadeva...